My oldest has a rough time with getting rid of anything he grows attached to his/our stuff… Even Capri Sun packets… I took my boys with me to drop it off because we were going to get a treat on the way home.

To distract the boys from what I was doing I had them look for shapes in the clouds out the front window, while I dropped off the stereo out the back of the car.

When I got back in and we started to drive My Oldest and I had this conversation:

My Son: “Do you know what I see in the clouds?”

Me: “What?”

My Son: “Jesus.”

Me: “huh?”

My Son: “yeah Jesus, Jesus Christ.”

Me: “oh”

My Son: “Yeah he has a beard.”

Me: “What color is his beard?”

My Son: “Daaaad, He’s a cloud…!”

yup…Spirituality around my house goes something like that.

“At the beginning there was only Chaos, Night, dark Erebus,
and deep Tartarus. Earth, the air and heaven had no existence.
Firstly, black-winged Night laid a germless egg in the bosom
of the infinite deeps of Erebus, and from this, after the revolution
of long ages, sprang the graceful Eros with his glittering golden wings,
swift as the whirlwinds of the tempest. He mated in deep Tartarus
with dark Chaos, winged like himself, and thus hatched forth our race,
which was the first to see the light. That of the Immortals did not
exist until Eros had brought together all the ingredients of the world,
and from their marriage Heaven, Ocean, Earth and the imperishable race
of blessed gods sprang into being.”- Aristophanes, Birds 685

There are many retellings of the story, this happens to be my favorite. Aristophanes wrote the play that contains this retelling in 414 BC It won second place at the drama competition that it debuted at. [1]

It centers around Chaos, as all Greek Creation stories do, She is the mother from whom all have sprung forth.

CHAOS (Chaos), the vacant and infinite space which existed according to the ancient cosmogonies previous to the creation of the world (Hes. Theog. 116), and out of which the gods, men, and all things arose. A different definition of Chaos is given by Ovid (Met. i. 1, &c.), who describes it as the confused mass containing the elements of all things that were formed out of it. According to Hesiod, Chaos was the mother of Erebos and Nyx. Some of the later poets use the word Chaos in the general sense of the airy realms, of darkness, or the lower world. [2]

What I like about this story is that love is the motivator of creation. Though this is argued by scholars of which I do not claim to be one:

EROS (Erôs), in Latin, AMOR or CUPI′DO, the god of love. In the sense in which he is usually conceived, Eros is the creature of the later Greek poets; and in order to understand the ancients properly we must distinguish three Erotes: viz. the Eros of the ancient cosmogonies, the Eros of the philosophers and mysteries, who bears great resemblance to the first, and the Eros whom we meet with in the epigrammatic and erotic poets, whose witty and playful descriptions of the god, however, can scarcely be considered as a part of the ancient religious belief of the Greeks. Homer does not mention Eros, and Hesiod, the earliest author that mentions him, describes him as the cosmogonic Eros. First, says Hesiod (Theog. 120, &c.), there was Chaos, then came Ge, Tartarus, and Eros, the fairest among the gods, who rules over the minds and the council of gods and men. In this account we already perceive a combination of the most ancient with later notions. According to the former, Eros was one of the fundamental causes in the formation of the world, inasmuch as he was the uniting power of love, which brought order and harmony among the conflicting elements of which Chaos consisted. In the same metaphysical sense he is conceived by Aristotle (Metaph. i. 4); and similarly in the Orphic poetry (Orph. Hymn. 5; comp. Aristoph. Av.

I love the idea that Chaos when introduced to and combined with Love brought forth the cosmos in its varied complex organization. It is replayed in the way we mate and recreate, when in the throes of passion brought on by love, often erratic/chaotic in execution, we create or organize new life. It is often said that in the act of love we touch the divine. Mythology is full of examples that reinforce this concept.

Mythology is what we have looked to from the beginning of time to explain who and what we are. In this myth we are told a story that we can understand and experience ourselves.

[1] http://www.mala.bc.ca/~johnstoi/aristophanes/birds.htm

[2] http://www.ancientlibrary.com/smith-bio/0690.html

[3] http://www.ancientlibrary.com/smith-bio/1158.html

We know what we are, but not what we may be.
-William Shakespeare-

I happened upon this blog post the other day, bookmarked on del.ico.us, and have not been able to get it out of my head.

My blog posts are now just not that good… now that I am comparing them to “the Bard”. I am no expert at what I do. I am just talking about things I like. I would love to be a good storyteller, and though my kids may think otherwise I am far from it. I would love to be a great Dad, but I still have along way to go for that title as well.

So I guess I am hoping that the process I am going through by writing this blog will help me in those endeavors.

If I study the art of telling stories will I become a better storyteller? Or will I merely be able to recognize a good story when confronted by it?

If I study the methods of good fathering will I become a better father? Or will I just be able to recognize those who are?

I read what I have written so far, and it sounds self-deprecating… sometimes though I think we need to ask ourselves the hard questions openly… to identify the elephant in the room. I think it holds us accountable to our goals. Obviously I think I can become a better storyteller and father by writing a blog like this. If I didn’t I wouldn’t waste my time doing it. Asking questions, like the ones above, force me to check my focus.

My goal is to become an expert on both counts, to do that it is important that I recognize that I am not. This way I can begin to recognize my deficiencies and address them. I think this is a healthy process that we all can use in our growth areas.

I have really enjoyed thinking about this over the past few days and I think has actually managed to help me both personally and professionally. thank goodness for Twitter turning my on to copyblogger. The reflective opportunity it has given me has definitely allowed me to recognize what I am, while affording me a brief glance at what I may become.

Cheers

I love Legos I played with them as a child, and I play with them with my children. I can almost always guarantee smiles on the faces of my children when I come home and tell them to get out the Legos… And we have built some fantastic things together. 5 years ago I was sitting in a hotel conference room with a group of other Apple Retail employees prepared to learn about our new roles as Mac Specialists. Strewn about the tables were Legos waiting for us to create with them. We were encouraged to let our minds wander as were taught and if inspiration hut to create. Apple + Legos….. that was a good 3 weeks.

A neat fact about Legos is that the ones that were made 52 years ago will still work with the ones being made today. In that aspect Legos are like stories since the ones we started telling thousands of years ago can fit nicely with the ones we tell today. Legos have always benn the building blocks of stories for me I can think back to the many medieval/modern/space age adventures that I created in my basement as I assembled and reassembled those colored blocks in my basement. I look forward to the many more I will create with my children in the future.

This is not a long post, just a quick burst of inspiration that hit me today, in keeping with that here are some of my favorite online discoveries associated with my favorite building blocks:

The Brick Testament.com/ PG-13/R rated View at your own risk…

Lego Hoth Gallery

One of my wife’s friends has a blog (it is a great read if you have a chance) and the other day he posted a lament about Hollywood Rehash. As part of that he pointed out 3 story archetypes:

(1) The Orphan Messiah. Kid’s parents die; he is raised alone as an orphan, often by meanies, and thinks he’s a nobody; kid realizes, with the help of a grandfatherly mentor that he has super powers; kid saves the city, the country, and sometimes even the world.
Harry Potter, The Sword in the Stone or The Once and Future King, The Matrix, Star Wars, Spiderman, Avatar, The Hobbit, Superman.

(2) The Dream Team Travelogue. Random, often awesomely powerful, strangers must band together in order to save the world/save the cheerleader/win the game/escape from prison etc. This story often includes the reluctant wunderkind, the average guy, the Wookie/Warrior, the wise teacher (who ALWAYS dies), the lovable rogue and/or the beautiful princess who all pool their individual talents to overcome tragedy, personal betrayal and other emotional things to–save the world.
Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, The Wizard of Oz, Saving Private Ryan, Braveheart, Lawrence of Arabia, The Seven Samurai

(3) The War. Snippets from people’s lives that have been ravaged or are being ravaged by war. Often they are overcoming odds just to survive, but sometimes they also win the war. It doesn’t even have to be physical war–it can be drugs, politics, intrigue, high school, you name it. There is a central conflict with delineated sides of good and evil and usually a nice kid/cheerleader/soldier we can relate to. Sometimes we get the villain’s version of things. In the happy versions of this story, the protagonist wins out and everyone becomes friends. In the sad version, people die and nothing is solved.
All is Quiet on the Western Front, Schindler’s List, Hamlet, MacBeth, Platoon, Mean Girls.
From: Eric Boyd Vogeler – http://ebv.blogspot.com/2010/01/reboot.html

My wife read this post to me while we were driving to Vegas this past weekend, after I had told her about my Avatar post and recounted the story of the movie to her. It got me buzzed especially because I had recently seen a movie trailer for a movie whose story appears to be similar to an idea for a story I had 6 or 7 years ago… (sure wish I had followed through on it now…) The idea of retelling the same stories over and over again is fascinating to me, and to be fair it is story archetypes that are reused not the stories themselves.

Which brings me to Ira Glass. He is one of the best storytellers out there. Each week on This American Life he chooses a theme and brings you a series of stories on that theme (fans of TAL I know you are smiling right now). So after my wife and I had been driving for a bit we fired up the ole’ iPod and started listening to some This American Life Podcasts. As is common we were lulled away into the captivating headspace that is This American Life, and the unique storytelling style of Ira Glass. He (and his team) is so good at telling these stories that Shotime has made a TV versionof the show. I suppose you coud ask Ira Glass why it is so success and I am sure he would have a good answer for you. I think it is because they tell real stories, about real people using elements from storytelling that have been around for ages.

Some day I would love to be a storyteller of tesame calibre as Ira Glass. I think it is important to be able to pass on knowledge, wisdom, and entertainment in such a fashion. I think that is why I am driven to write like this. For those like me who are interested in telling stories here is a series of YouTube videos in which Ira lass discusses the art of storytelling… enjoy:

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Yes, I drug my bad day into my house kicking and screaming. Instead of figuring out what my family needed I proceeded to through caution to the wind and let my kids watch a movie with me that was age inappropriate. When my wife caught on to what we were doing she did as she ought and asked that we stop. Unfortunately I had thrown her into the role of bad cop without intending to and without prior consultation. My 5yo and 4yo proceeded to throw tantrums, that not only killed the fabulous meal my wife had prepared for us, but were not quelled until they were dismissed to premature bedtimes.

In fairness the younger was plenty tired and was asleep in a hurry the older though got set off on a frustrating trajectory. He was sad about his mom’s mood, which made him poke about during homework to the point that it was decided, that we would do the homework tomorrow, and just do his reading. SO he became sad about the lost chance for homework and was inconsolable to the point of not being able to read at which point he was sent to bed. Now he was sad about his mom, sad about his homework, sad about his reading and incredibly disappointed, though not able to put his finger on it, in the performance of his father.

The wailing that came from their room was torture to the heart. My wife, the wise woman that she is, chose not to come down on me noting that anything she might have said in rebuke would not have been as acute and worthy a rebuke as I was receiving at the hands of my children… she was sooooooooo right.

I had been like a bull in a china shop and every action I took was making a mess all around.

Needless to say I rebounded, I apologized to my wife and tried to do a little extra to help her. I went in with my oldest and did his reading… and then some in his bed. I kissed my sleeping 4yo and tucked him in snug and sang to him as he slept.

I wasn’t perfect today, and I won’t be tomorrow. I will be better and that is what matters… now if only it would rain again… I could use the symbolism… oh well the shower will have to do.

Once inside the theater I was immersed in a story that held my attention so tightly that I wasn’t paying attention to the excellent 3D effects. It is a story that rings true to that primal being within me. A story that mankind has been telling since time immemorial. It isn’t a perfect telling of the story, as no telling of this story ever is. There were themes that had more time devoted to development like the Na’vi’s connection to nature and the world around them; and there were some elements that too little time was given to develop like Colonel Miles Quaritch and why his character is motivated to act as he does.

The Hero myth is a great story and I think it is a very important story for our development. Which is why I am taking time to write about on a blog that has to do with fathering. The first time I can really remember being influenced by the Hero Myth was when I was between the ages of 10 and 12. We had rented “Star Wars” from a local video rental shop. I watched that movie 3 or 4 times in a row. It is so vivid in my memory watching Han and Luke march down the aisle of the grand rebel assembly to recieve their medals from princess Leia. the credits would roll and I hit rewind so that I could watch it all again.

I next encountered it when reading the Odyssey my sophomore year of high school. As a junior I read the Illiad and and was caught up in the myth. As a senior we read Beowulf. Making a study of these stories at such a critical time in my development had great effect on me. So much so that as a 28 year old man when I listened The Power of Myth interviews between Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers I was moved in a way that is difficult for me to describe. The world was a little clearer to me, I understood why the mythologies of the world were so fascinating to me. It made perfect sense why the legends of Robin Hood and King Arthur were spellbinding.

A well told story and myth has always been important to the development of mankind. I know from experience as I suppose anyone that reads this does as well. I was glad to tap into that feeling again this weekend. It reminded me of the simple nature of who I am. What is important, and inspired me to continue as I have begun, to share the hero myth/story with my children.

The unique relationship between you and your child(ren) has never occurred so no one can give you everything you need to know… you have to go out and do it. You are like a first person narrator in a tragic, dramatic, and comedic story. The narrative unfolds as you create it. That is why I named this blog DadStory.

Storytelling is a fundamental part of human existence. Humans have been telling each other stories since the dawn of time. In-fact we are all writing our story everyday. In this web culture that we find we are writing our stories in a more personal way than ever through blogs, social networks, youtube, etc… We are not waiting for scholars to write about us, we are just putting it out there live and in technicolor. What an awesome development this is.

I love stories, in-fact my favorite time with my children is when I sit down and read stories with them. I think that this is one of things I do best as a father. Passing on wisdom from one generation to the next is often done through the medium of storytelling. Consider the following examples :

1-
There once was a shepherd boy who was bored as he sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, “Wolf! Wolf! The Wolf is chasing the sheep!” The villagers came running up the hill to help the boy drive the wolf away. But when they arrived at the top of the hill, they found no wolf. The boy laughed at the sight of their angry faces. “Don’t cry ‘wolf’, shepherd boy,” said the villagers, “when there’s no wolf!” They went grumbling back down the hill. Later, the boy sang out again, “Wolf! Wolf! The wolf is chasing the sheep!” To his naughty delight, he watched the villagers run up the hill to help him drive the wolf away. When the villagers saw no wolf they sternly said, “Save your frightened song for when there is really something wrong! Don’t cry ‘wolf’ when there is NO wolf!” But the boy just grinned and watched them go grumbling down the hill once more. Later, he saw a REAL wolf prowling about his flock. Alarmed, he leaped to his feet and sang out as loudly as he could, “Wolf! Wolf!” But the villagers thought he was trying to fool them again, and so they didn’t come. At sunset, everyone wondered why the shepherd boy hadn’t returned to the village with their sheep. They went up the hill to find the boy. They found him weeping. “There really was a wolf here! The flock has scattered! I cried out, “Wolf!” Why didn’t you come?” An old man tried to comfort the boy as they walked back to the village. “We’ll help you look for the lost sheep in the morning,” he said, putting his arm around the youth, “Nobody believes a liar…even when he is telling the truth!” – FromStoryArts.org

2-
“Thou shalt not bear false witness.”

Of the two examples above which is more likely to persuade you not to lie? Each comes from a great tradition of moral education, but without context and background the second lacks persuasiveness.

Story provides the context for life’s lessons. They are vehicles through which we can understand and relate to one another.

This post though titled “My DadStory” is not in fact my “DadStory” it is the opening verse in a lifelong tale. I hope you will follow along and perhaps share your stories as well.